Hello there! I hope you’ve had a wonderful holiday season with the people you love. The holiday season has been my favorite holiday since I was a kid, especially Christmas. Each year, I was in charge of setting up the tree and would force my mom to put up all sorts of decorations until she was tired of me. I became a mini queen of d.i.y, decorating my room with paper garlands and Christmas lights! We’d put Christmas cards we had received from friends and family underneath the tree- it didn’t really click in my mind even after watching home alone that people put real presents under the tree, haha! Christmas Eve was always a biggie. My mom and aunties would cook all night, the neighborhood would be lively with fireworks and I could stay up late. On Christmas day, I would wake up early before church, run downstairs to each some Jollof rice that they cooked overnight. My mom never failed to dress me in a velvet dress right before I went to a church for a “short” 3 hour service lol
In these recent year, Christmases here without my family, has been very hard especially after finally being able to visit them, I have not been able to celebrate Christmas as I once was. Though i’ve had the privilege of making some amazing friends who I spend most of my Christmases with, I still tend to fall into my patterns of isolation and depression. I have been dealing with depression for quite sometime now and the holiday season heightens those feelings. What I constantly remember is how I have missed 13 Christmases with my mom. How I am missing milestone life events of family and friends – weddings and births. How I have lost a grandmother and close aunts that I did not get to spend these special holidays with. So as each year passes, and as my parents are get older, those important moments weighs heavy on my heart.
This is why I took some time off to take care of my mental health. You might have seen a post here and there but I was hiding like a chameleon. It is hard to hide knowing how public these platforms are, however, if you need the time to get you right, take it! One of my declarations for the next year if not for the rest of my life it to take care of myself, physically and mentally. We gloss over mental health and I am also guilty of doing the same because it not a comforting topic to talk about. I plan to stop that stigma in my personal life and talk about it more. I hope that as I share my struggles with mental health, this can be a safe place for you to also share your struggles and your triumphs.
I am still figuring out this new year resolutions thing but once I have had my deep prayer session, I will let you know what the rest of my resolutions are. However, the two of the biggest obstacles I am sure I want to tackle this year are isolation and depression. These two here have anchored me down in a way that has served me no good.
Thank you all so much for reading. I have loved everyones posts, sharing in your Christmas and New Year’s Joy, so thank you all so much for cheering my spirit up, have a wonderful New Year, xo!